It feels like the engagement is still on. I was asked by a colleague last Friday if there was a 31 in November. I checked the calendar. I didn’t look at the month that was being asked. I checked December first. I replied, no there is no November 31. I also said that “malapit na ako ikasal sana.”
Over the past two weeks, I have been using jokes as a way to cope with everything that happened. Maybe it’s just a way for me to adapt but whatever I’m doing, I know I’m doing it right because I think I’m starting to accept things.
Last Monday, I talked to the priest who was supposed to officiate my wedding. To lighten the mood, he asked me if I was ready to go on a date since he had nieces who were my age. I laughed but I had to decline. There were a couple of people trying to set me up. There were even opportunities in recent days where I could ask numbers and do a little flirting.
But I hesitated. I know I can’t. Not now, maybe not in the next three years.
I don’t know how I can recover but I know I will. I am so blessed to have very good friends who visited me in my pad since the break-up. I will never forget my high school classmate CP and his girlfriend Jecai (for her phone call) for being there for me that Saturday when I went to some of the suppliers and telling them that my wedding wouldn’t push through. I will never forget Renel and my MHFDS/Reyes brothers for being there that first night.
I met old friends, I’m making new ones. I even got advices from my bosses and ex-future ninongs. Most of them were supportive and even my big boss at the Department of Budget and Management enlightened me and gave me the chance to go to Bohol even for a day.
I was supposed to spend the honeymoon with her there by the way…. that’s why I didn’t take any pictures..hehehehe
I have 20 days left before I decide what I should do with my new life. I will start planning after my supposed wedding day on December 12.
For now I’m thanking God for introducing and re-introducing people to me. It’s a difficult road ahead, I admit. That’s why right now when people ask me how I am I reply by telling and showing them – and even if I don’t know how long it will last – that I’m smiling one day at a time.






